


Like the first time

by Joliepolska



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Barba in Glasses, Bathroom Sex, Endearments, Established Relationship, F/M, Past Relationship(s), Teasing, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-14 16:09:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14772845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joliepolska/pseuds/Joliepolska
Summary: You and Rafael have had an established relationship for many months now. One day, he can't help but remember how predictable Yelina made him feel everytime he said something nice to her. But you're with him now, and there's nothing you love more than to listen all the beautiful words he tells you.Besides, for some reason, she hated Rafael's glasses and told him every chance she got. It's time for you to let him know how much you love everything (everything at all) of him.





	1. You always tell me that

**Author's Note:**

> I started to think about this when I read something related with Barba's glasses on Tumblr and that he may hate those for some reason and try to hide the fact that he needs them.

_He couldn't remember when was the first time when he told Yelina that she looked beautiful. But he felt a kick on the stomach everytime she only answered "you always tell me that"._

_He couldn't say if he really say that every time, but she made him feel like he couldn't say anything better, like all those words have been said before and he felt like he was reading a stupid postcard, with a ridiculous and predictable sentence that anyone wants to hear. _

_One night he got into the apartment they shared. She was cooking and didn't notice Rafael was already there until he held her from behind._

_-Hi -he said kissing her cheek._

_-Hi, Rafael -she answered kissing him on the lips._

_-You look beautiful tonight._

_-You always tell me that -she said before giving him another kiss and walked out of the kitchen._

_-Is that so? -he asked, wondering if he couldn't say anything better._

_-It's nothing bad, Rafael._

_-You make it sound like if it was._

_-Of course not, babe, it's just that I don't really know how to answer everytime you say that. There's nothing wrong. Dinner's ready._

_-Thanks but..._

_-But you can't stay. You know what? I don't know why I bother. I don't know why I bother cooking and waiting for you if you're never here._

_-That's not true._

_-It is true, Rafael._

_-Yelina..._

_-The food's in the kitchen. Take it if you want. I don't want to be here. I need some air._

_-Hey, hey, what's wrong? Are you going to tell me why are we having this discussion again? -he said, holding her arm._

_-I'll be here in a couple of hours -she answered coldly, moving his hand away from her._

_And a second later, she was gone. Rafael stood still, not really understanding what the hell happened. The only thing he was going to say it was that they should go to dinner out. He knew that it wasn't fair for her to stay in the apartment all day, that they should go out more often, anything he could do to make her feel comfortable with their relationship. The last thing he could imagine was that she went straight to Alex Muñoz's arms, convincing herself that she did it because Rafael wasn't never with her, that he ignore her all the time, that he tried to compensate telling things like "you look beautiful", like if he could fix it with that._

* * *

 

_It was a perfect Summer night when she got home. She could hear music coming out the bedroom. Yelina looked at her watch and was surprised that Rafael was there at that time. She went to the bedroom and he was on bed, reading, listening to the music. She spent the afternoon with Alex and every second she felt that he was gorgeous. But when she saw Rafael, clothes off, on bed, wearing those glasses, she felt herself melt. How could she? She felt more confused than ever. Why Rafael did something like this to her? How he dare to look like this when she was trying her best to finish the relationship?_

_-Hi -she said, trying not to look at him._

_-Hey, how was your day?_

_-Busy. What are you reading?_

_-"The hunchback of Notre Dame"._

_Now he had to speak those words in a perfect french accent. She felt she wanted him, and hate him at the same time. She was cursing him for putting her in that position. And the worst of all, that damn attitude he had. Arrogant, know-it-all, that made him look sexier than anybody else, even Alex. She felt her blood boiled. But she couldn't define if it was hate or lust._

_-Have you ever considered to wear contacts? -she asked, with anger in her voice, at the time she was taking her shoes off._

_-I don't like them._

_-I don't like you when you wear glasses._

_-What are you talking about? -Rafael said, half smiling, half nervous for the way that conversation was going._

_-You look bad on those. I'm going to take a shower._

_And then she got in the bathroom and shut the door. Rafael took his glasses off and threw the book away. He was furious, why Yelina had to say those harmful things to him?_

* * *

 

_She confessed him the whole affair one night and Rafael swore he could hear his own heart broke. She didn't avoid him all the time. In fact, there were nights that she didn't let him go. So, when he listened the truth, he felt more than betrayed. A couple of months later, he found out that Alex and Yelina got married and that was the end of it. Within years, he got through it and moved on._

_A Sunday morning, Alex called him. He wanted to apologize. They were brothers and he didn't want to lose Rafael's friendship for good. Rafael listened to him and told him it was forgiven and forgotten. Alex felt a heavy burden getting away from him. They talked a lot about different things and said goodbye. Alex and Yelina were parents at that time._

_A couple of years later, Rafael started to work with the SVU detectives and he felt good. It was a real challenge and Rafael liked those. One morning, he was at his office when Carmen knocked the door. Alex Muñoz was there, smiling and Rafael was really happy to see him. Until he said that he was there because of Eddie._

_The investigation continued and one night, he saw Yelina in his office._

_-Guapo? I hope I'm not interrupting._

_Rafael felt happy to see her. But beyond her presence, he was happy because he realized that it was over. All the anger, jealousy and insecurity he felt it was gone. And when he saw her again, he felt happy because he knew that she didn't take his breath away anymore. He cared about her, but nothing else. There was not love, not passion, not lust. All of it was gone._

_-You look so great -he said, knowing that the word "beautiful" maybe was not correct anymore. She was a married woman._

_-You always tell me that._

_Maybe he did. Maybe he didn't. But that wasn't important now. Not now not ever._

 

 

 


	2. The way you look at me...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You look so beautiful", won't sound the same anymore.

And then he met you. And he wanted to tell you how much he liked you, and how beautiful you looked every tim...

No. He wasn't make the same mistake twice. He wasn't going to tell you  _that sentence_. He didn't want to ruin it. He couldn't because he just loved the way you looked at him, like if he was the only man on Earth. And since you both started a relationship he would do anything in his power to do to make this work.

He was working at his office, then he heard someone was knocking the door. Carmen opened it and you were behind her. Immediately Rafael took his glasses off, the last thing he wanted was you see him wearing them. You were younger than him and maybe the glasses made him looked older or uglier and you were so beautif...

Again that phrase.

-Hi counselor -you said, approaching to him, bringing him back to reality.

-Hola cariño, what are you doing here?

-I was thinking that maybe we can go to the movies. My treat. 

-Of course, what do you want to see?

-It doesn't really matter. Whatever is about to start.

-Let's go then.

You went to the movies and when you got out you went to his apartment. As long as he closed the door, he kissed you in frenzy. It was like if you both couldn't get enough of each other. You ran your fingers through his hair and moaned his name when he pinned your arms above your head, against the wall. You rubbed yourself against him to get some release, he moaned against the skin of your neck and give you a little bite. When you felt it, you almost screamed his name.

-Mi amor, you're so beautiful... -he said panting.

-So are you, Rafael -you answered before kissing him roughly and putting your hand inside his pants, caressing his bulge. 

-Fuck, yes niña -he moaned.

Then he leaded you to his bedroom and sat on bed. You climb on top of him and kissed him looking for his tongue. All you wanted, besides him, was that he tells you're beautiful again and again. But somehow, you're a bit ashamed to ask him. All you could do was enjoy his body and make sure he enjoys yours. After you broke the kiss, you took your blouse off, then he ran his hands through your back to find the clasp of your bra and took it off you. He kissed your breasts and you arched your back moaning his name. You took his shirt off and kissed his torso. God, you really want him so bad...

-Do you really want this, niña?

You looked at him. You didn't know why he keep asking that from time to time. Maybe working with SVU made him feel that he needed an affirmative consent to put his hands on you. But you wouldn't mind. 

-Yes Rafi, this is what I want...

Then he flipped you against the mattress and took your jeans off. You were soaking wet by then and caressed his torso and looked at him. There it was, the way you looked at him, and Rafael felt a sudden rush of love running through his heart. You were the most exquisite woman of the world and there you were, lying on his bed, waiting for him, looking at him in the way you couldn't look anybody else. He couldn't help it.

-You are so beautiful, niña...

-Do you think so, counselor?

-Absolutely.

-Then what are you waiting to make love to me?

He smiled and kissed you again, tenderly this time. He took his pants and boxers off and you still had your panties on and you pull them off when you saw his cock already leaking. He reached for a condom and then he was inside of you. You both moaned at the feeling, it was like a permanent wave of pleasure and you held him, trying to keep him close. He sat and you were on his thighs, moving at the same rhythm he was. His thrusts were firm and deep. You sucked his earlobe, moaning his name, feeling his hands on your hips, he could feel you, that expression on your face when you were close and so was he. He speeded his pace and you moaned louder as you felt your orgasm approaching.

-My god, Rafael, I'm close...

-I want to see your face when you come, cariño, hazlo por mi... do it for me...

That was the only thing you needed to come, and when you did, Rafael looked at you with the whole attention he could pay. He didn't want to even blink so he couldn't miss any of your expression, he wanted to remember everything of you, getting to the ecstasy,  your eyes closed, panting at first, moaning his name at the end, all because of him. And that was the trigger to his own release, he felt you moving faster, creating a void inside you to pull him closer. Then he took your face and looked at you in the eye. Then he felt it, he came hard and shout your name moving slower, trying to that moment to last as long as possible. 

-That was amazing, niña -he said, still panting, still inside you, before kissing you.

-You're incredible, handsome... 

-If you keep going, I'm going to start to believe it...

-Do you have any doubt about me, counselor? -you asked, pressing your nose against his cheek, before kissing him.

-No, it's just... you're so beaut... I'm sorry, I've said that like a thousand times, you must be tired of hearing it.

-Please tell me... 

-I'd do anything you ask me but when you got tired of hearing it, please let me know so I can stop.

-Tired of hearing it? 

-If that's the case.

-It doesn't matter how many times you say it, Rafi, you never say it the same way. Everytime you tell me I'm beautiful, I feel it like if it's the first time I hear it. And I'm sure my heart stops for that second, I only...

You were interrupted by Rafael's kiss. He opened his mouth so he could reach your tongue and felt yourself melt when he moaned when he succeded. You both were so ready for round two.

"You are so beautiful", those were the words Rafael kept telling when he was making love to you and he whispered them when you lied your head against his chest after you both came a couple of times, before you felt asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued :D


	3. I love you with your glasses on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael is working and doesn't realize you're looking at him. The only time when he felt insecure and unattractive is about to change.

It was kind of late and he was still working. Carmen was gone and he was sure the rest of his colleagues too. He looked at his watch and sighed. Maybe he should call you. Fifteen more minutes and he will. He put his headphones on and keep writing. 

You cursed your boss when you realize what time was it. It was almost eleven o' clock and you promised Rafael to pick him up. You looked at your phone and there wasn't any call from him. Maybe he got tired of waiting and left by himself. You called him but it sent you straight to voice mail. Maybe you should to DA's office and with luck, he would still working and he didn't notice the hour. 

You got into the building in a rush. Only a security guard was at the gate and he warned you that it was really late and you couldn't find anyone. You thanked him and told him that you just wanted to be sure. He was right, only an empty hall was waiting for you. Carmen was gone and the lights of almost all the offices were off. Almost all of them. All, in fact, but not Rafael's. You sighed in relief.  Maybe he didn't notice the hour. You were about to storm into his office with all kind of apologies, but you froze at the door. It was open and Rafael was focus on his papers. He had his headphones on and, for the first time in your life, you saw him wearing glasses. Just when you thought he couldn't look hotter. You got into the office quietly and locked the door. He didn't notice until you were really close to him and kissed him with passion. Then you climbed on his lap, spreading your legs around his waist and his chair.

He was really focus on the stuff he was writing. The next thing he knew, you were kissing him and sitting on his lap. He opened his mouth to massage your tongue with his own as he felt you removed the headphones from him and caressed his scalp. Then he remembered. Those damn glasses! He moved away abruptly trying to take them off when he felt your hand holding his face to kiss him again. 

-Wait... wait... -he said, between kisses, but afraid that you could see him clearly with those things on.

-What is it?

-The door... maybe someone's outside...

-Don't worry handsome. Door's locked and no one is outside. I double checked that. 

Then you kissed him again. He really looked hot with those glasses on. You didn't saw him like that before, of course you had noticed it. Maybe they were new. Anyway, that really didn't matter. Not at that moment. You were already so wet and you couldn't wait to go home. You reached for his zipper and could feel his hardness through his pants. You needed him inside you right away.

He moved your panties aside and touched your cunt to confirm you were ready. You both moaned at the feeling. Then he looked at you and tried to take his glasses off. Then you stopped him.

-Please, keep them on -you said, before kissing him again.

-Really?

-You look incredibly hot on those -you whispered against his ear and pull his zipper down to release his cock, stroked him and guided it to your entrance. 

Rafael put his glasses back on and you moaned when you looked at him as he thrusted you hard. You both moved in a perfect rhytm. Then he stopped and laid you down on his desk, with your chest against the surface. He was right behind you and both of you could see the reflection of you in the window. It was a dim light and the whole environment was amazing. You never thought you could something like this in his office. But it was hot and you couldn't stop right now.

Then you felt Rafael lifting your skirt and pulling your panties down. You grabbed his desk and looked at your reflection. There he was: the man who stole your heart, looking like the sex god he was, looking at you using the reflection, wearing those perfect glasses that couldn't hide all the lust shining in his emerald eyes. 

Rafael couldn't believe this was happening. In a moment he was working, and, in the next, he was ready to fuck you in anyway he could. He looked at you through the reflection of the window. He could see details that he couldn't without his glasses on. Why did he waste all this? He caressed your arms and felt you were trembling.

-Rafael... I want you so much... please... please... I need you...

-Don't move, mi amor -he answered, teasing your entrance with his cock. You moaned and he looked at your reflection with a smirk. He felt incredible knowing only he could make you scream like that. The truth was that he was on fire because of you as well. He couldn't help himself either. Without resisting a second longer, he was inside you again and you shouted his name.

He grabbed your neck and made you look at the reflection of both of you. 

-Mira niña, look how beautiful you are. I want you to see how I fuck you.

-Oh God!

Your moans were only compared to a porn star's, Rafael's words were arousing you more than ever, his thrusts were harder, faster, deeper than ever and when you looked at him in the window, with his glasses on and he looked at you back, moaning louder as well, you were sure you were burning. 

Both orgasms hit you at the same time and your moans filled the whole floor. You collapsed against his desk and he against your back. You both were panting loudly until you recovered and then he sat on the chair in front of his and pulled you so you could sit on his lap. Then you kissed him tenderly and slowly. When you broke the kiss you ran a finger through his glasses.

-Are they new?

-What? Oh, these. No. 

-Then why didn't I see them before?

-I usually have a perfect vision. I just need them to read or write sometimes. I think I hate them.

-What?! Why?!

-I don't want you to think I look bad wearing them...

-Are you kidding, right? You look amazing with them!

-You really like them, don't you?

-I do. And every time you see that window you will remember the reflection of you, wearing them, fucking me with all you've got -you whispered in his ear.

He felt hard again with your words and remembered the reflection you talked about. But it was better that both of you dressed yourselves up again and go home. You could continue what you started at his office. And if you like him with his glasses on, he could keep them and use them more around you. He wanted to see that expression on your face as you came with all the details he could remember.


	4. I can't wait to get home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Rafael are in one of his friend's party. It's not that you meant it but you're teasing him looking more beautiful than ever. He just can't wait to get home and reaches you in the bathroom.

You liked Harry. He was Rafael's best friend since they were in Harvard and when he introduced you to him, he wasn't surprised that you were together.

_-I knew it -he said- I knew he couldn't stop until you look at him._

_-He didn't have to work that hard -you answered._

That was truth. Rafael had your whole attention since the first second. You didn't know if he knew that, if he could see that you wouldn't deny him anything. But 48 hours after you met him, you were in his arms and he was inside you. Something that you haven't done with anyone before, no matter how much you liked them. But with Rafael, it was like if the man had an spell on you. Once you were in bed, it seemed that you just couldn't have enough from each other.

So, that Sunday, Harry invited both of you to watch the game. The Super Bowl. You didn't get the rules of the game, but that wasn't a problem, besides there were a lot of food and drinks, so why not?

You took a shower, trying to do it before Rafael was awake. When you were washing your hair, you closed your eyes and remembered last Monday...

__

* * *

 

_That damned phone of yours didn't set the alarm. When you realize of the hour, you practically jumped out of bed and ran to the shower._

_-Mi amor, is everything alright? -asked Rafael, still on bed._

_-Rafi! It's too late, it's almost 8 am!_

_-What?!_

_Then you heard him running to the kitchen and making some coffee. The stupid battery of your phone didn't last long anymore and it just shut down. No surprise it didn't sound._

_-Cariño?_

_-Yes?_

_-Can I come in?_

_-Of course you can Rafael, it's your apartment._

_Then he opened the door, and looked at you. You tried to hurry, he had to take a shower as well._

_-I'll be out in ten minutes, Rafi, maybe five..._

_-It's fine, mi amor, you know, I can get in there with you and save some time..._

_-If you want, this place is big enough..._

_He took off his boxers and got in the shower. The water ran through his hair as you looked at him. God, he looked so sexy like that. You took the soap and caressed his chest with it. He opened his eyes and kissed you and pushed you gently against the wall. You could feel his growing erection against you thigh and moaned his name._

_-Rafael..._

_-Easy niña, I got this... -he whispered before sucking your earlobe._

_Then you felt his fingers running through your cunt. You held him closer and kissed him hard. You were trembling and grabbed his cock. He moaned your name and kissed your breasts, sucking your nipples until they were erect._

_-Mi amor -you moaned -please..._

_-Are you ready, niña?_

_-Yes, please... I'm ready..._

_He turned you around and kissed your neck and you could feel those beautiful hands grabbing your hips, then his cock teasing your entrance. When he was finally inside you, you screamed his name and continued moaning until you came. A couple of seconds later, you felt his cum filling you up. He screamed as well and then kissed you trying to regain his composture. Besides, you both had still to shower._

* * *

 

"Save some time", yeah, sure, you thought when you finished your shower. In fact, you were both late that day and you regret nothing. Sometimes, you felt like if you were discovering a whole new world sexually. And you couldn't help but remember one summer night...

_-Have you done it like this before? -Rafael asked, when he didn't wait to get to his bedroom and both of you were on your feet in his hallway._

_-You mean stand up? No, never..._

_-You're almost a virgin, niña..._

_Then you felt his hand inside of your panties, grabbed them and took them off. He was inside you within seconds..._

Before you got out of the shower, you ran the cold water, all those memories weren't helping you. You could feel yourself wet and you didn't want to get late again. 

* * *

 

-Harry! -you said when you saw him.

-Look at you! -he answered, taking your hand and make you spin around -God damnit, Rafael, how could you find a woman like this? No lies, darling. Each time I see you, you look more gorgeous.

-I know -Rafael said, smiling. Then he looked at you. And felt aroused. He looked at you before you left home, at the car you were talking, but he was in a rush, you both were but now he really noticed you. He was aware of how beautiful you are, he always let you know that. But somehow, he felt different that day. He just could look a you, he wasn't even paying attention to the game. He was watching you smile and laugh. You were eating some french fries and felt more turned on when he saw you sucking your fingers clean to remove the ketchup and salt. He felt hard.

Rafael sighed. That was the most inappropiate moment for this to happen. He tried to focus on the game. Then you went to the bathroom and Rafael knew he had to follow you. He wasn't really thinking, not with his head at least.

You were washing your hands and put some lipstick, then you felt a soft knock in the door. 

-Just a minute...

When you got out of the bathroom, Rafael was in front of you. Suddenly, he kissed you and get you back inside the bathroom.

-Rafael, what are you doing? -you whispered, trying to be quiet. 

-I want you so much niña, me estás enloqueciendo...

-Rafi...

Then you kissed him back, his tongue was doing that thing that made you lose all control. Once again, one of his hands went under your skirt and rubbed your cunt through your panties. You moaned.

-Shh niña, no one can hear us... be quiet or I'll stop...

Then you looked at his bulge. He was hard before he went to the bathroom.

-I'm sure you don't want to do that counselor... -you answered, caressing his bulge.

-God... 

-We can be quiet, handsome, we don't have to stop... I don't want you to stop...

Then he turned you so the both of you could face the mirror. Without wasting more time, he lifted your skirt, pulled your panties down and thrusted himself inside you. One of his hands reached for your mouth to avoid your moans. He knew you that well and the last thing you both needed was someone knocking the door asking if everything was alright.

When you felt his hand on your mouth, you kissed his palm and then sucked one of his fingers so you could remain quiet. His thrusts were deep and fast and you were so close. Looking at your reflection and kept eye contact until you came and sucked harder two of his fingers. Then you felt his cum and his lips kissing your shoulder and bitting it as he came. 

-I hope you saw yourself when you came -he whispered against your cheek -you have no idea how beautiful you look like that...

-I was watching you Rafi, and you look incredibly sensual and handsome...

-We should go home now. I want to see that gorgeous face of yours when you come again.

-Sounds good. I'll get out of here first and excuse us. Reach me in five minutes.

-Deal.

And he kissed you once more before you left the bathroom.

-

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me estás enloqueciendo - You're driving me crazy


	5. It was you, wasn't it?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yelina has returned, expecting to resume her relationship with Rafael. She couldn't believe he wasn't alone anymore.

_-Yelina, are you going to stand by your man? -the reporter asked._

_And she just nodded in desbelief, trying with all her strenght to be calm, to be a proper lady. But all she could see was a bunch of reporters and other people holding messages in front of her. In front of them. She looked at Hank Abraham, doing his best to contain the disaster. And then she looked at Alex, blaming the politicians, the rich people, a secret plot to keep him out of the Mayor's office._

_Once they were alone in their hotel room, she couldn't take it anymore._

_-Did you do this?_

_-What are you talking about?_

_-Alex. Did. you. do. this? Did you share porn pics with that girl?_

_-How could you believe that? Did Rafael say that?_

_-Rafael?_

_-You know he never forgot what happened between us! He hates me! He told me that he was going to do anything in his power to make us pay for it! Yelina... you know I love you, I couldn't betray you..._

_-How could I believe you? You betrayed Rafael..._

_-And so did you, so don't give me that... you were sleeping with the both of us, so don't act like an offended lady with me..._

_-How dare you?! I gave everything up for you! And this is the way you pay me!_

_-You gave everything up? What did you have? You had nothing!_

_-Rafael and I..._

_-Rafael?! Really?! Let me remind you that every single moment we slept together you did nothing but complain that he never noticed you, that he didn't even talk to you! That he ignored you all the time because of his work and that's why you were with me! Don't pretend now you had the perfect relationship!_

_-He wouldn't cheat on me! Not like you!_

_-Is this what's about? You saw him days ago and you suddenly want him back?! Or is it because now I'm ruined and he's the hotshot ADA?!_

_Then she was quiet. And remembered how hot Rafael looked that night. She always knew that he was handsome, the most gorgeous man in El Barrio. But years of separation just made him more atractive. After she talked to him that night, she tried not to think about it and reminded herself that she was a married woman now, with children, her husband was going to become a Mayor. She had nothing to do with Rafael anymore._

_Until that afternoon. Hank Abraham called her and told her he had to talk to her in person immediately. Then she listened to the charges Alex was accused for. Child porn. How could he? She wasn't going to believe that, but after all was disclose, more women appeared and talked. Enrique Trouble had more troubles than she ever imagined. Why did she leave Rafael for someone like Alex? What was she thinking? Could she fix it?_

_-I'm waiting for my answer -Alex said._

_-So am I. I asked you if you did this. And all you have done is talk and talk and accuse me and Rafael, but you don't answer my question!_

_-You know you don't exactly fullfilled your wife's duties..._

_-What is that suppose to mean? Is my fault now? You did this and it's my fault?!  
_

_-You've been avoiding me! Don't look surprised! I'm a man and have necessities!_

_Yelina looked at the man she loved once without really believing what was going on. He did it. He exchange naked pictures with other women and with a kid. A fifteen year old kid. It was child pornography and all he could do was blame others... including her. Rafael was right. He never could look the other way when something's wrong was happening._

_-I better go now._

_-Listen, Yelina, I need you._

_-No, you don't. You just want to show the press, other politicians that I believe you and I will be with you. I've made many mistakes, but it's time for this to stop. I'll talk to my lawyer so we can start with the divorce._

_-Are you leaving me? Is this because of Rafael, isn't it?_

_-Rafael has nothing to do with this! This is because you exchange naked pictures with a kid! And who knows with how many women more!_

* * *

 

She was outside the DA's building, her hands were trembling. Rafael was in there. She was divorced now, and she never look for Alex again. Rafael and her could go on where they were left. He always said she was the love of his life, nothing could change that. Then she saw him, running towards the building. He was even more handsome that the last time she saw him. He was inside before she could move. She got in there and looked her assistant on her desk.

-Can I help you, miss?

-Hi, I'm looking for ADA Rafael Barba?

-He's in a meeting right now, do you want to leave a message?

-No, I'll wait for him... as long as it takes...

And she did. She waited for three hours, but she wasn't going to leave. She had to show Rafael that she was going to do anything to prove him she was really compromised with him now. The love of his life. The love of her life. How could she leave him? She shook her head, everything could be solved, under his conditions, of course, but she will do it, no matter what. 

The door opened. She recognized Jack McCoy and for a second, she knew he recognized her as well, she had her head down, but could feel Jack's stare on her, as if he couldn't believe it. 

-Miss? -Carmed said -Whom I announce to?

-What?

-To Mr. Barba, what's your name?

-He knows me -and she walked to the door.

-Miss, wait! I must announce you first! -Carmen said, trying to stop her.

-Don't touch me! Rafael!

Rafael was looking to the evidence of this case, when he listened to Carmen arguing with someone else. The next thing he knew, Yelina was at his door. Again. 

-Mr. Barba, I'm sorry, she just...

-It's ok, Carmen. Let her in.

-I told you he knew me -and then closed the door in front of Carmen's nose.

Rafael got up his chair and sat on his desk. What was she doing there?

-Rafael, I know everything has been difficult between us, but I'm sure we can make this work...

-Yelina... what are you talking about? What are you doing here?

-I'm here to tell you I'm still in love with you, that I'm sorry for everything I've done to you. You didn't deserve it. I know now that I made a huge mistake leaving you for Alex. It's over. We're divorced. I'll do anything you ask. 

-Yelina, wait, wait... 

-No, listen to me... -and she tried to approach him, but he took a step back -What's wrong?

-Yelina, I don't know why are you here, but I'm really busy right now. I need you to leave. 

-Rafael, I'm sorry I hurt you, but I'm here. Now. I love you. 

-You're saying this because you're still feeling bad for your divorce. I understand that. But there's nothing I can do about it. 

-Yes, you can. Do you remember when we were together? All the things we shared? 

-Yelina.

-I bet you couldn't forget this...

And then she tried to kiss him. But he moved away and held her wrists.

-Yelina. I'm in love with someone else.

-What?

Yelina could swear she had the same expression on her face that Rafael had when she confessed him about Alex. Now, she was the one to take a step back, this couldn't be happening. If everything with Alex failed, what was left for her?

-I need you to go, now. 

-You don't have to lie to me with something like that, Rafael.

-I never lied to you and I'm not starting now. Why don't you go back to your children? I bet they need their mother. 

-Rafael...

-Carmen, I'll be in court. When the lady leaves the office, please shut the door. I don't think I have time to come back, so I'll see you tomorrow.

-Yes, Mr. Barba. 

Yelina sat on the couch, trying to understand what Rafael just said to her. He was getting even. And she couldn't blame him. She had to fight to get him back, and she will. 

* * *

 

As Rafael left the court, he remembered what happened at his office. What was Yelina doing? Did she actually believe that he just put his whole life on hold until she come back? He was also sure that she didn't mean anything of it. She had children to take care of. Then his phone rang. He couldn't help but smile. It was you.

-Cariño, I'm on my way home.

As soon as he got home, you jumped into his arms and kissed him fiercely. You didn't know why but, at work, you began to remember your nights with him and you felt so aroused that you have to fake a migraine so you could go home early. Then you called him to be sure you wouldn't wait too long. You surrounded his waist with your legs and licked his lips so he would touch your tongue with his. You moaned his name when you felt it.

-Mmmmhh, did you miss me, cariño?

-Rafael, let's go to the bedroom...

-It's too far niña...

Then he pulled your pants down along with your panties, then he unzipped his pants and pulled his hard cock out. By then, you were aching for him and when he held you in his arms again, you moaned his name over and over until you screamed when he was inside you. 

-My god, niña, you feel so good...

-Rafael... I want you so much... I love you so much...

-Say it again...

-I love you Rafael... oh god... please... faster...

And he did. And he felt that incredible sensation building in him when he was getting close. And when he did, a few seconds after you came, he moaned your name and came inside you. Then he carried you to bed. You felt exhausted and satisfied. Rafael Barba had the magic touch to do that. You fell asleep immediately, but Rafael couldn't. He watched you as you slept and caressed your hair. You were so amazing, young and beautiful. When Yelina left him, he was convinced that that was it, that he never would find someone else. In fact, he became devoted to his work. Who could believe that through that work he would met you? The most important person in his life. The woman he loved the most.

Then you turned around and opened your eyes. It was dark but you could notice that he wasn't sleeping.

-Mi amor, what's wrong?

-Nothing, I just can't sleep.

-Do you a want a cup of tea? -you asked as you turned the bedside lamp on.

-I'm fine cariño.

-And you'll be better after tea -you answered before you left the bed. Then you returned with a hot cup -Here.

-Thank you, niña.

-Is this work related?

-What?

-That something that's keeping you awake. 

-Not really -he said with a sad smile.

-You know you can trust me, right?

-I know. 

-But?

-I don't want to hurt you.

-Why would you hurt me?

-It's about my past. It's nothing wrong, but it's in the past and I want to keep it there. 

-You don't want to tell me if you don't want to. But, if you change your mind, I'm here. 

-I know. I love you, mi amor. 

Then he kissed you and made love to you again. And you kissed him every inch of him. You wanted him to feel loved and, in your experience, sex always relaxed you and helped you sleep. And it happened that way. After you both came, Rafael fell asleep in your arms, but now you keep thinking about what he said.

 

 


	6. It's my turn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yelina meets you... and feels terribly jealous. Soon, she will talk to you about Rafael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to say that, despite many of us hate Yelina Muñoz after the episode of "October surprise", we have to recognize the amazing job Karen Olivo did, because she built a villain in very few minutes. An amazing actress, otherwise, we wouldn't hate Yelina that much.

Yelina was waiting outside that building... again. After Rafael left her alone at his office, she stood still, trying to understand the words Rafael just said to her. Her plans were that Rafael would tell her that he never forgot her, that he never stopped loving her, that he was ready to start a new family with her and her children. They would marry afterwards and moved in together. She would be pregnant in short time. And then, she remembered the nights they shared once and wanted him more than anything.

"I'm in love with someone else"

And with those words, Rafael just froze her. It couldn't be. In her experience, Rafael was always busy. Always working. How could he meet someone? How could he have time for a woman? 

It couldn't be true. 

She saw him running towards the building, but he wasn't alone. A young woman was holding his hand. Before he got into the building, he kissed her and then she left, crossing the street. Immediately, Yelina followed her for a couple of blocks. She was young, not that much, not like if Rafael would be her father, but she was younger than Rafael, than her. Maybe for ten years. She stopped in front of a lingerie store and then Yelina approached to have a better look. An amazing cascade of curls surrounded her face. It was a beautiful face. A beautiful woman. And suddenly, Yelina felt furious. She was looking at lingerie for him. For Rafael. She was the woman Rafael slept with every night. The woman she could blame because Rafael didn't want anything with her anymore.

No. She had plans with Rafael and you were not going to ruin them. 

* * *

You got out of your work really late, again, You hated to do this often, specially when you promised Rafael to meet him at his office, then you both could go home. You looked at your watch and realized that maybe no one would be left in the building.

-Excuse me -a woman stopped you at the gate -Can I talk to you for a minute?

-Do I know you?

-No, you don't know me. But we have to talk.

-I really don't have time for this. Someone's waiting for me...

-Who? Rafael Barba, perhaps?

And then you could feel how your feet weren't able to move anymore. You looked at her finally. A pretty woman, brunette, with long dark hair. 

-What? 

-I know Rafael Barba very well. In fact, I might know him better than you do.

-Who are you?

-I'm Yelina, do you know that, in the past, Rafael said I was the love of his life?

-In the past? As not anymore? -you answered, rising an eyebrow.

-Do you think we don't see each other anymore?

-I think that I don't see how could he have time for that.

-Look, if I was in your place...

-If you were in my place I don't know, but in your place I would be already leaving!

-Listen to me!

-No! I don't listen to rumors. As I said, I have to go!

Then you went to the door. The guard opened the door as soon as he looked at you. Yelina followed you but when she tried to get in, the guard stopped her outside. 

-Can I help you, ma'am?

-I want to see Rafael Barba now!

-Then you can come back tomorrow, in office hours.

-What about her?! Why don't you stopped her too?!

-Ms. Y/L/N is an exception. Mr. Barba gave us the order that she can come in anytime. She's here for... personal reasons... unless, you know her, Ms. Y/L/N...

You looked at her. No way. She had to learn her position in Rafael's life.

-No. I don't know her. 

-Sorry ma'am -the guard said -You have to come back tomorrow.

* * *

 

The travel in the elevator seemed to last longer than usual. Rafael told you that he had a serious relationship a long time ago. It was obvious. He was over 40. It was obvious he had a past, a past that didn't work since he never got married. He never told you the name though. And he didn't want to know about you past relationships either. 

_-I don't know where he is -you said, caressing his chest -I just understood that it wasn't meant to be. And yours?_

_-She's not really mine, actually._

_-She was once._

_-I'm not sure about that. It's over. It's all you have to know._

_-Not even her name?_

_-Not even her name. She's in the past. The present, this moment, is ours._

_Then he kissed you. And you didn't have to know. You just could be grateful that those last relationships didn't work for both of you. You never felt happier in your whole life. Maybe it sounded corny. But you fell for Rafael since you met him. You were so devoted to him. You loved the way he talked, his voice, so rough and brave in court. So soft and tender in your bed. His eyes, the way he looked at you, and how he could melt you with just that. That smile, that sometimes you felt he gave only you. And when you made him laugh, you felt unique. You made him happy, and you wanted nothing more._

Then the elevator arrived to Rafael's floor and you sighed. You could storm into his office and shout at him, demanding any kind of explanations. But you wouldn't. Rafael wouldn't do something like that to you. And as you said to that woman, you didn't listen to rumors. You and Rafael had a dream life. You were not the one who become a nightmare.

-Hi -you said, opening the door.

-Hey! -he answered, approaching you to kiss you -are you alright?

-Fine, I just... I'm so sorry I'm late again...

-Work is work. I know that. Don't worry about it. Shall we go home?

-Yes, please. I'm so tired.

And then you left the building. Yelina wasn't there anymore. But it wasn't the first time you lived something like that. Your ex, the one you loved the most, before Rafael, before you knew you could love beyond all your imagination.

_Everything was going fine. You loved him, and he said he loved you. You spent the nights with him often, not everyday, but often. You liked him since you met him, and he flirted with you until you agreed to go out with him._

_One afternoon, you met her. And one of his best friends told you the words that hit you right in your face: "Once, he said she was the love of his life"._

_And after that, nothing was ever the same. He started to dissappear every now and then. He lied to you, and you tried to pretend nothing wrong was going on. When he was with you, he only want to see her. When he was with her, he kept talking to you. And it was a living hell everyday. When he wasn't with you, you knew he was with her. And when he was with you, you could only think that he was thinking about her._

_"She was once the love of his life, too"._

And now, that was all you could think about.

 


	7. Do you still love her?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yelina had succeded in making you doubt of Rafael. Now, it's time for him to make the things clear for both of you.

Damn insomnia.

Rafael tried to touch you but Yelina's words kept ringing in your ears, in your mind. 

"The love of his life".

It was true, maybe. Since he told you he loved you, the whole world disappeared for you. You didn't think or even look at other men. No matter what. What about if something similar happened to him with her?

-Cariño? -he asked when you weren't moving along with him when he was kissing your neck that night.

-What? -you answered when you realized what he was trying to do.

-Is everything alright? I can tell you're not here with me.

-Nothing, it's just I'm too tired. Long day. I'm sorry.

-Nothing to sorry about. It's fine. Let's just sleep then.

He kissed you goodnight and fell asleep within minutes. You turned the light off and closed your eyes. But you couldn't sleep. What if he loved her more than everything? What if he really was seeing her from time to time? But how could he? You could tell how many hours he was at work. And then, he went back home to you every night. He didn't avoid you. In fact, sometimes you could feel he couldn't get enough of you.

She was a liar.

Maybe she didn't have him now, but what if she wants him back? They had a past and that fact could make things easier for her.

This thoughts ran through your mind until you heard the alarm and then you saw the light coming in through the windows. 

-Shit -you murmured when you realized you didn't sleep at all.

You got up and went to the bathroom, looked at yourself in the mirror. You looked awful, such a mess with dark circles under your eyes, tired as hell. And you felt even worse.

You washed your face trying to fix your image. Why Rafael could want you looking at you like this when that damned Yelina looked like a fucking goddess? 

-Cariño, can I come in? It's getting late -Rafael said from the other side of the closed door.

-Just a minute!

You waited until you didn't hear him outside. Maybe he was in the kitchen making coffee. Then you come out of the bathroom, dressed yourself in the hurry, grabbed you make up and your purse and left before he could look at you.

-I have to go, Rafi, I'll see you later! -you shouted before you left.

-Niña, wait, don't you want...

Then he heard the door shut.

-... some coffee?

* * *

You were in your way when you phone rang. Rafael.

-Yes?

-Niña, is everything alright? Are you alright?

-Yes, Rafi, it's just I forgot I have this report to deliver and have nothing of it yet. I remembered in the morning and I have to finish it...

-Ok, alright, I hope you finish it in time cariño. I'll call you later.

-Fine, bye.

When you arrived to your office, you put yourself some make up, trying to not look so bad. But that didn't change the way you felt. You hated that woman for saying all those things to you. You hated yourself for believing them. And Rafael. You just couldn't hate him. You love him so much. 

You thanked him for not telling you the whole story between him and Yelina. You didn't even know her name. He didn't tell you not because he tried to protect her, but because she was in the past. You didn't have to know what happened there. But now, you had to know. You had to know how intense it was, if he really loved her more than everything, and why did that end. What if something else made everything went to trash? What about if neither of them wanted to break up?

Now you really wanted to know. 

* * *

Rafael was looking at some evidence but he couldn't concentrate. In fact, it was like the fifth time he read the coroner's report because he wasn't actually reading it. The way you just left that morning told him that something weird was going on. Something you couldn't tell him about. He sighed. After all those months, after all those nights, he just couldn't make you trust him.

His phone rang.

-Yes, Carmen?

-Mr. Barba, this lady is here again.

-Which lady?

-Mrs. Yelina Muñoz. 

-What does she want? I'm really busy right now.

-I know that, sir, but I'm sure you do know how she is. She doesn't want to tell me anything and she doesn't want to leave either.

-Alright, send her in.

-Rafael! -Yelina said in excitement once she got into his office.

-What is it now Yelina? I'm really busy.

-I'll do anything you say. I'll do anything you ask. We had a beautiful life together, we can have that again.

-Didn't we have this conversation already? I told you: I'm living with someone else.

-That won't be a problem anymore. 

-What are you talking about?

-She knows. About us.

-What?! No way. That's impossible. You don't even know her.

-I saw you both last week. She came here the other night and told her everything about us.

-I hope you told her that we're over too.

-We're not over and you know that.

-You must be kidding me...

-Rafael...

-Stop it Yelina! It's over! It was over since you told me you loved Alex and you were going to marry him! 

-You said you loved me...

-And you took that and used against me! You moved on and I moved on! You married Alex and started a family! Finally I met the woman of my dreams and you're not going to ruin that too!

-You don't believe that what you have with her is the same that you had with me!

-Oh, I don't believe it. I'm sure it's not the same! It's so much better! Is this what you wanted to hear?! I love her! More than you could ever imagined! I love every inch of her! And you know what?! She loves me! She loves me so much that she couldn't hurt me! Do you want to do something for me, Yelina? Go. Get out of my office. Get out of my life. Don't you ever dare to talk to me or my girlfriend again!

Yelina heard every single word with tears on her eyes. He was right. She ruined him years ago. She ruined him and didn't even look back. She didn't even care. When she was so thrilled looking for an amazing wedding dress, Rafael was all alone, depressed and feeling miserable. Betrayed. Hurt in every way someone could hurt a person. She ruined them. Nothing could ever be the way it was. 

She left the office in a hurry knowing she will never see him again.

Rafael sighed. Yelina had talked to you and God only knew how many lies she said. That's why you didn't want to make love the night before. That's the reason you didn't want even to look at him in the morning.

He took his coat and left. He was going home and wait for you.

* * *

You were home late. You didn't really know how to deal with this. You were still afraid to ask Rafael, and terrified to never find out what was going on between them.

-Cariño? -Rafael said when you opened the door.

-Hi Rafi...

-It's late.

-I know. I have too much work to do...

-You don't have to say that, niña. I know what's going on.

You said nothing. Just went to the kitchen and pour yourself some water trying to gain some time while you were thinking what to say.

-Niña, look at me.

You eyes were fixed on the window. Not now. What he was going to say? That he and Yelina were meant to be together? That he couldn't forget her after all these years?

-Come on, beautiful, look at me.

You couldn't deny him a thing. He knew that, and when you looked at him, you couldn't fight your tears back.

-What's wrong? -he asked, almost in a whisper, cleaning some tears from you cheek.

-Do you love her?

-No. I don't.

-I didn't even tell you her name!

-I love you. I don't care about other women, and certainly I don't care about their names.

-Yelina. Do you love her? You loved her once.

-Come here, niña. Sit with me.

He grabbed your hand and took you to the living room. He sat on the couch and pulled you so you sat on his lap.

-What did she tell you?

-That she was once the love of your life. 

-I hadn't lived enough by then.

You laughed and couldn't help to place your arms around his shoulders.

-That's my girl. That's my smile -he said, caressing your face and pulled you for a kiss.

It felt salty because of your remaining tears, but intimate. It felt so good. Better than ever.

-I love you -he said against your lips, without open his eyes -And I'm so sorry she looked for you to hurt you like this. She won't do it again. I've already warned her that.

-I was so afraid you would still love her. I didn't know the nature of your relationship. I didn't know why did you broke up.

-Do you want to know? Made you feel better?

-I'm not sure. 

-Do you trust me, cariño?

-I do.

-You don't have to be afraid. I was born again when I met you. I felt so alive. And all you had to do was to smile at me. You didn't even have to talk. But when you did, I realized that your voice was the most beautiful sound in the world. You make me feel so loved, so... treasured. The way you kiss me with so much passion. The way you make love to me, giving yourself to only me with all your body and soul. I never had something like this with anyone but you. I love you so much, cariño. You don't have to worry about Yelina or anybody else.

You wanted to say something back, but you couldn't. It seems that all the emotions you felt were somehow stuck in your throat. You were still crying but not for sadness or fear this time. 

He took you in his arms and went to the bedroom. Rafael was going to make sure you could feel how much he loved you the whole night.


End file.
